We’ve come up with some policies and talking points to fix Obamacare and its website.
- You will be allowed to keep your pre-existing medical condition, as long as it’s terminal.
- Instead of using a non-citizen on the cover of the website, find a citizen that actually was able to sign up for Obamacare. Oops, still looking.
- Make Rush Limbaugh the new spokesperson for Obamacare.
- Launch a new email campaign and don’t allow anyone to opt-in.
- Send out a press release that tells everyone how great Obamacare is that only conservative media outlets are allowed to run. Really, it will work.
- Get the Nigerian spamers that send the “We Have $Millions to Send You” to run the Obamacare campaign. Oh, sorry, they are already are.
- Get Obama to declare there is a cure for mortality – all you have to do is signup for Obamacare.
- Set up an Obamacare kiosk at the St. Augustine Fountain of Youth. It worked so well for the guy that founded it, Ponce de Leon, who died in 1521.